A New Perspective…


Location: Too Far Away
Height: 6’2″
Mohawk: yes
Tattoos: Yes


I’m bringing on a guest blogger. Work is crazy busy so my reviews have been slowing down. I don’t want to fail you on content. Plus, this one has equipment that I don’t, and I’ve always wanted a male bodied perspective on stuff. So please welcome my guest blogger: Jerk Face


The divorce entailed me loosing access to a car in a town where the public transit is a joke. So, outside of work, I was really stuck in the house. Being someone that leans extroverted, this wasn’t a good or healthy thing for me. Especially because I was pretty wounded over the divorce. Isolation wasn’t healthy.

So, Dom Pants got me into¬†Second Life. He’d been there for seven years or so. I was a socially awkward penguin, as it was a really new medium. As a Millennial, I’d really only gotten into the internet on a very superficial level. I value human contact and body language. Tone matters to me a lot. So, connecting to people without that is hard for me.

I was adopted by a couple of Dom Pant’s people on there. Including the man he’d been in a relationship with. See, Dom Pants was in a sticky situation. He’d always presented himself as a woman on Second Life. I, thinking i wouldn’t be there long, agreed to keep his secret.

So, I met my boyfriend’s online boyfriend.

He’s a jerk. He’s a brash asshole. He’s funny and sexual. You know… just my type. For months, we hung out. We went and role played together. Cuz, I am a giant nerd. And, eventually, I realized I had a stupid crush on him. So, in an effort to keep things simple, I told the Jerk to back off flirting with me. We were just going to be friends. I couldn’t do distance. (Because in the end, that’s true. I’m really bad at delayed gratification and patience.)

I just left out the part where he was in love with my boyfriend who he thought was his girlfriend.

I was never ok with the lie. And Dom Pants and I talked about it a lot. The Domly one was concerned about the emotional impact the truth would have on Jerk Face. Finally, a rainy day in September, I was sitting outside of work chatting with Dom Pants on Facebook messenger when our conversation about how we wanted to live our lives finally involved the Jerk Face.

See, Dom Pants and I want to live our lives with courage and exploration. That involves making the wrong choice sometimes. Had we both made the wise choice, we would have never ended up together. He didn’t believe in life long relationships and that was what I seek. His PTSD should make him unable to provide the reassurance that my OCPD requires. But, we love each other. And we’ve never been happier.

And we both really cared for Jerk Face. He fit us. Another brash, loud, crass punk(ish) person. Delightfully kinky and polyamorous. Mohawk having. Political and interested in current events. Oh and nerdy. He fits.

So, we decided to make the wrong choice. Or the right one. Dom Pants told him the truth.

Dom Pants expected to never hear from him again. I expected anger and eventual forgiveness. What we got was something else entirely. Sure, he wasn’t pleased at the news, but he wasn’t entirely completely surprised by it either. And he was a bit pleased because he had the opportunity to finally have something with me and Dom Pants that felt more authentic.

So… I have a Jerk Face. And, I really like him. A lot. In fact, he’s totally worth me breaking all my rules for about age and distance. He’s worth trying to have patience for. To wait for his visit that is 7 months away. But he’s also interested in reviewing for me. And helping me out while work is being insane.

I’ve been wanting to bring a male perspective to my blog, but Dom Pants really wasn’t interested. Jerk Face, on the other hand, is. I wanted my readers to hear about toys that I may have used, but were made for men from the male perspective. I want you, my readers, to get the best information I can provide.

So, in the coming weeks, you’ll not only be getting reviews from me, but you’ll also be getting reviews from my new… thing. And, I think you’ll enjoy them. He swears as much as I do and talks in nonsensical metaphors. So, just like me.


This was brought to you by ridiculous decisions and a love of orgasms. Jerk Face is a slut for new toys.
This post first appeared at http://krissynovacaine.weebly.com/reviews/a-new-perspective