A Queer World

So, here’s my dream: I want a world where there is no assumption. A world that doesn’t have a default state for attraction. I want a world that doesn’t ask each person if they like boys or girls or if they identify as male or female. I want a world that lacks binary categories. One the makes people check little boxes to fill out their identity questionnaire.

I’d love a world where children are allowed to select how they present themselves. Where it is common sense that they can follow ¬†what feels natural for them. I’d love to see a world that didn’t gender everything from the moment of conception. I’d love a world that had toy stores free from pink and blue coding. Instead, toys are laid out to be chosen based on interest rather than gender rather than gender norms and marketing ploys.

In my ideal world, parent’s don’t wonder and guess about their child’s sexual orientation. Rather, they care that the person their child brings home simply makes them happy. Because, in my perfect world sexual orientation doesn’t matter. People simply bond when mutual interest and chemistry strikes. Regardless of patterns or past preferences.

I want a world that doesn’t cap the number of acceptable lovers that a person should have. Past or concurrently. Instead, love and experience would be celebrated. Individuals were given the space to negotiate their needs to their lovers with compassion rather than outside shame.

Instead of having to include gender and sexual orientation as descriptors of people, truly relevant words could be used instead. I would be described as cynical, generous, witty, and neurotic rather than a polyamorous, cisgendered female, bisexual, and switch. My sexual politics inform about my personality only due to the culture that I live in; my passion for causes is far more indicative of who I am, not what it is focused on.

I want a world that doesn’t enforce sexual and identity norms on people. I want a world where people don’t have to pick labels or check boxes that kind-of, sort-of fit, but only most or some of the time. A world where people aren’t required to pick an easy mold to make strangers on the street more comfortable.

Maybe all of this is just because I am bisexual. I’d love it if I live in a world that didn’t dictate my preferences based solely on my partner selection.

But, from where I am standing, non of the labels are truly necessary. Not forever. Sure, right now they are super fucking important. A shared vocabulary removes isolation for people exploring identites that challenge the cultural norm. Those labels and check boxes help educate and explain to the larger culture which in turn creates empathy and compassion.

Right now it is important.

But, always? No, I hope not.

Just as helpful as all those words are, they are limiting as well. So, I’m hoping for my world. A world that starts in a place of acceptance and compassion, so all those words become unnecessary. I refuse to think that it is asking too much of people. We can do this.

This post first appeared at http://krissynovacaine.weebly.com/blog/a-queer-world